Wednesday, October 08, 2008

The Mad Men of 2008

Today I got an email from a personals service, with the subject, "5 Ways to Wow a Guy."

Excuse me? Are you saying that I don't have enough to wow a guy? Okay, so I like to sleep in, and maybe I have a belly, and I've got a messy room and I haven't cooked in ages, but I am not about to fall for that demeaning marketing email shit for a second.

I don't think you understand the problem here. You need to start finding some guys who can wow me.

The last two responses I received for my online ad were from a married couple who wanted to propose a threesome ("Not your cup of tea? Well hopefully you will take it as flattery" is how they put it), and an actor/bartender (albeit a hunky & cute one) in an open relationship.

Well at least I am getting some colorful responses, instead of the usual guy who doesn't know what they want (other than someone cute and local), or is just kind of not attractive or boring.

And just to add to my growing cynicism about men, I found out through the gossip grapevine (see tip #6 in the last blog entry), about how one of my teachers ruined his marriage (shortly after having their baby) in a profoundly sleazy and retarded manner, involving making a wildly inappropriate move on his friend's girlfriend (who was left shocked, traumatized and crying).

This also surprised some of my classmates, because they assumed he was gay anyway. (This does not mean he is cute. At ALL. And if you are a Toy Design student, dying to know who I'm talking about, feel free to ask me in person, but I won't reveal it here.)

And recently another friend revealed her own damaging affair, with a manipulative man who continues to take advantage of women by professing his love to them, especially whilst cheating on another woman. And he's not even CUTE. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN??? I'm not going into the sordid details, but I'm just relieved to hear that my friend came out of it alive.

Ladies, listen up. Sleazy, deceptive, selfish, irresponsible dickheads come in all kinds: cute, sweet, handsome, ugly, hunky, lanky, meek, cocky, rich, and poor.

If a man is ballsy enough to profess his love for you, you could be that lucky special one, orrrr... he could be full of shit! Just make sure you know the difference.

Wait, I don't think I've known anyone who dated a mean guy. Maybe I should. Maybe they're at least honest.

Oh, right. I don't like mean people. Guess that won't work.

Well, at least I feel like I'm not missing out anymore while I'm busy with school!

So my cute little nephew's prospects of getting any cousins is growing dim. I'll just have to spoil him with toys to make up for it.

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1 Comments:

Blogger SKEET SkIRT said...

Hang in there. You're amazing at everything. Design, socializing and looking cute. Anyone you eventually pick will be lucky. Remember, both guys and girls often do things they shouldn't in life. I was blatantly crude. I do see that. Sorry (again)! I think I'm a much better person because of you. You make a bigger impact on people than you probably realize. I enjoy reading your blog. (While listening to Cinderella, Don't know what you got till its gone. Joking.) Just keep doing what yur doing. Everyone loves you. I'm sure you will find someone suitable. http://nickchristensen.blogspot.com

12:59 PM  

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