Why I heart CSI:NY

I was trying to figure out why "CSI:NY" is the only tv show I care about seeing every week anymore (unless it's a rerun). Why do I prefer this as opposed to the light-hearted fare I used to enjoy? It's not like a soap opera. There are some small storylines behind each character that continue, but they are mostly secondary to the mystery plots of each episode. As I thought about it, I realized that it's a reaction to certain things I would like more of in my life.

When I was a kid, I lacked humor & family functionality in my life, so I seeked shows that succeeded in those things, like "The Cosby Show." Nowadays, I have lots of humor in my life. I'd say my friends and coworkers are way funnier than the shows I watch on tv. I generally get along with my family, and I live by myself anyway.

So why do I love CSI:NY so much?

1. I heart NY.
Every show opens and transitions with majestic, aerial sweeping shots of the city. And they write a lot of the plots around crimes that could only occur in New York. They've used police horses in Central Park, rush hour at Grand Central Station, the subway cars, even a tiger mauling at the Bronx Zoo.

Instead of freaking me out about the potential crime in New York, seeing all the interesting sights of New York actually gets me excited to move there. (Ironically the show is mostly filmed in L.A. and faked with sets. But I like L.A. too.)

2. Forensic Science is rad!
I love the nerdiness of it all: the labs, the chemistry, the autopsies. I love how Dr. Hawkes gets all excited to explain what caused a ruptured spleen, or when the detectives discuss high-velocity blood spatter vs. gravitational droplets. Or when the medical examiners flip a coin to see who gets to process the mummified dead woman. Or when Mac and Lindsay take turns stabbing a dead pig to match the weapon to the type of wound. I love it when Danny says "epithelials" in his New Yawk accent.

In real life, I get a lot of computer geekiness on a daily basis, but I think I miss the other sciences, that are perhaps, less virtual. I think maybe the whole internet-saturated culture of the bay area has gotten to me a little bit, and so I find it very refreshing when I talk to someone like a Neurobiologist.

3. Effective people, solving problems efficiently.
It's a Bruckheimer production, so it's very formulaic. But I love it. Something horrible happens at the start of the show, and this amazing crack team of geniuses get to business figuring it out, and they always do! Even if they head down the wrong route, or run into obstacles, they have such a versatile skill set, with really awesome tools, that they manage to get it together and they ALWAYS get the bad guy by the end of the show.

I have run into my share of weirdos, idiots, and unreliable people & poor technology from time to time, which are frustratingly counterproductive. CSI is about a team of incredibly competent people, who have a lot of moral integrity, who are all focused on the same goal. The leaders (Mac & Stella) are strong and supportive, and even the rookies on the team manage to wing it through tough situations. It's a bit of a fantasy team dynamic, but it's sort of an aspirational thing to watch too.

4. Hot, geeky, heroic guys.
Not only are these guys cute, but they're super smart
(--except for Don Flack, but he has pretty eyes).
Not only are they smart but they work out.
Not only are they built, but they dress nice and have good hair
(--except when Danny gets his goatee on).
Not only do they clean up nice, but they have the tough New Yorker/ex-Marine/ex-ballplayer/doctor thing going on.
Not only are they tough, but they help each other out when one of them's having a bad day.
Not only are they sympathetic friends, but they get the bad guy and sometimes save people's lives.
Not only are they heroes, but they can crack a good pun.
Not only are they all that, but they go for smart, nice women.

I don't meet these guys in real life. But that's what I want now.

Dammit. I'll be single forever.

Should I also be concerned that this show has started to alter my train of thought? A week ago, I actually glanced over at a cop to see if he might be cute. Before watching this show, that would never have crossed my mind.

And now I start wondering about any residue that I leave under my nails and what it means, if I have too many confusing fibers lying around my house for the detectives to figure out if anyone should find me dead. And maybe I should wear nicer underwear regularly, cuz I don't want to literally be caught dead in ratty undies, especially if someone like Detective Danny Messer should find my body. I am a fairly cluttered person, and lately I've thought about tidying it up a bit better so the cops can isolate trace more meaningfully if anything should happen to me. Or maybe if anyone attacks me, I'll try to leave good clues like Detective Aiden did, when she got attacked by the scary painter dude.

Do Forensics scientists and CSI detectives think like this all day? Do they just go kind of batty? Or are they just really tidy?

This is when I switch over to watching something like "Dancing with the Stars" or "The Pussycat Dolls: Search for the Next Doll." Or get out of the house and see my friends.