Saturday, February 28, 2009

Romance is for the Birds

Okay, so my art history class is not so bad. Our professor brings in these really entertaining examples from outside of our class material to discuss, like this amazing Richard Attenborough video clip about the Australian Bowerbird. You have to watch it.

How charming is this bird!?



Attenborough starts out saying the bird we're watching is physically the plainest of its family, basically implying that as long as he makes an impressive enough display in its decorating job of his nest, he'll have a good shot at seducing a female bird.

But I like how he emphasizes later that this bird has an edge on birds who rely on their genetic appearances to seduce other birds. The Bowerbird can make decisions with his own creation, to build a better way of seduction.

I think what this bird is telling us, is that a little style can go a long way. It's like how the members of OK Go are so adorable in their little festive suits, peppy songs, and cute dances. You know they would not get the ladies in a boring t-shirt and jeans.



I'm also amused at how Attenborough says at the end, "It's the tastes and fancies of the females, single mothers who have no need of the help of male in bringing up their families, that has led to these extravagant exhibitions."

My class is discussing whether the bird is creating art. Well DUH.

The real question is, is the bird is really being romantic, or is he just pimpin'out his bachelor pad? Sometimes animals and people are really just the same.

Labels: , ,

Add this blog to My Yahoo!

The Trainer Girlfriend goes Shopping

It has recently come to my attention, that every single one of my ex-boyfriends already has or is expecting to have a baby. And it seems that each one of them, has chosen to do this with the woman they decided to date (and consequently marry) right after me. It has become such a joke that I even predicted it with the last two ex-boyfriends.

Thankfully, I am not a miserable mess of tears like Sally was in "When Harry Met Sally." In fact, I feel more like I dodged some bullets, rather than wondering why any of those exes didn't marry me. I mean, I am relieved that those boys have found some very patient–ahem, nice ladies that can truly appreciate them. And I wish them a lot of luck with the whole parenthood thing.

I still coo over puppies far more than I ever do over babies, so it's all worked out for the best. (I'm hoping that will change if and when I fall in love someday.) But I would like to avoid becoming anyone's Trainer Girlfriend again. I'm not sure how to avoid that, other than avoiding dates completely.

Again, school has made that easy for me as well.

Meanwhile, I could not motivate myself to continue my schoolwork this morning, without giving myself some good leisure time, so I went out today and went on a bit of a shopping spree. This included some lacy bras and undies, which may seem kind of pointless since I am not really available for dating for the next few months.

But sometimes women like to enjoy wearing pretty things on the inside that nobody else gets to see. Kind of like a great coat with a fanciful lining that rarely gets seen. It's like I have a little delightful secret under my clothes that passersby don't know about (unless you read my blog). It's like the grown-up version of Underoos; they make you feel like a superhero inside your everyday clothes.

I used to lament when I saw pretty underwear, that I didn't have anyone to wear it for. But just because nobody's seeing your privates, doesn't mean they don't deserve to enjoy some special packaging! (Another benefit of being single is that I don't have to care what anyone thinks about the kind of bizarre vanity this implies.)

Also when I got home, I found out that the bras I bought on sale can also convert into strapless ones! Now I just need summer to hurry along and return to New York. I love my boots in winter, but I miss wearing cute spring/summer dresses. And the luxury of wearing them in the EVENINGS!

Okay, now I will finally get started on that online class with the god-awful user interface. Groan.

Add this blog to My Yahoo!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Double-neato!

Tokidoki shirt of monkey eating hotdog, sitting on a burger
Who sent this!?
Originally uploaded by misocrazy
I forgot to mention the other delightful thing on Valentine's Day; I got a package sent to me from a name I didn't recognize, so I assume it was sent from an eBay seller. But there was no receipt or note. So I don't know who sent it to me!

It would have to be someone who at least knows my love of monkeys and food. Well, that makes it hard to narrow down. But that someone would be savvy enough to find Tokidoki on eBay makes me think it's one of my other Tokidoki-obsessed girlfriends who got it for me.

But nobody's fessed up to getting this for me yet! Mysterious!

Ironically, I did already buy this shirt as a present for someone else, but I haven't gotten around to shipping it!

Also, not really related, but last week, in our graphic design & packaging class, our professor brought in an old hand-lettered book about calligraphy from 1700. It's older than this country.

Unbelievably, he let us touch this book and peruse the pages. We were amazed and afraid to touch it, because it seemed like something that should be in a museum.

We asked him where he got it. He said he found it in a New York bookshop, many years ago, and paid five dollars for it. He said there used to be more bookshops in New York. I told him he needed to go on "Antiques Roadshow" with it, and he said he'd never sell it. I probably wouldn't either, but I'd just want to know how much it was worth!

Hmm, I think I need to go shop for books!

Add this blog to My Yahoo!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Happy Valentine's to Me

Pink Domokun
Happy Valentine's to Me
Originally uploaded by misocrazy
This may have been the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.

I didn't even intend to celebrate the holiday, but by the end of the day, it felt like I did.

I planned to leave the house early, but then my roommate woke up, announcing that I had to stay for waffles she was going to make, because her sister and sister's boyfriend were visiting.

I couldn't say no to that, so while I waited for brunch, I found some crochet supplies to bring with me on the subway. We enjoyed some delicious waffles with fresh berries and syrup on top. In exchange, I offered them my Netflix of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist to watch as they digested their yummy brunch.

Finally I got out of the house. While I attempted to crochet on the subway, two very fluffy-haired, young men in skinny jeans and scarves hopped on the N and were continuing a very enthusiastic conversation over whether something was Apollonian vs. Dionysian. One of them spoke in a British accent, but I thought the other dark-haired fellow was cuter. But I also suspected he wasn't straight, possibly too hipstery, and either not interested in a girl who had no idea what they were talking about, or too caught up in his own brilliant studies to know what to do with a girl, so I continued crocheting my little pink heart. Also I didn't want to interrupt their fascinating conversation.

Finally found the New York Public Library, which is as beautiful and majestic as my art history teacher described. There are old sculptures and frescoes all over the building, so I had to stop and take photos like a tourist, even though I live in Manhattan.



I got an access card and started to research games from India (for my art history class and games class). Of course, the friendly old librarian chatted with me about types of games I could look at, maybe a little too long, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

But time was running out for me to make it to the Whitney Museum. I got there just in time, about an hour before it closed. It was Alexander Calder's early works, in Paris, which involved a lot of mechanical wire sculpture. There were even scraps of art from when Calder was a child and created Valentines and wrote the sweetest letters to his mother.



A big portion of the exhibit included his mechanized wire and fabric circus, which he performed like a puppet show. It was all very charming and related so well to toy design. Some of the wire sculptures were really funny and referenced other art. He even made wire facial portraits of people. And I learned that he started as a newspaper illustrator, which I once did myself. It was so inspiring! I loved it and was so happy to see it before it closed.

Then I tried to rush over to FAO Schwartz before it closed, to get a thank-you token gift to a friend. But on the way there, I ran into Dylan's Candy Bar, a fancy candy shop I had never been to. So I stopped in to look, partly because I had to design a candy-based toy anyway. And I decided I would just get candy instead as the thank-you gift, since it was much easier to share. Plus I could get candy for myself and my friends.



I left with almost $60 in candy, chocolate, fudge, Jelly Bellies, and a pair of gummy-bear-shaped earrings.

On the way home, I passed a McDonald's, where I picked up 3 Happy Meal Sanrio watches! Woo!



Exhausted from the fun, I enjoyed some delicious local Chinese takeout, from "Excellent Dumpling House" at home. Then my roommate came home with some friends who just saw a horrible play about love stories, so I shared some candy with them.

Also, in that same weekend, I bought a pink Domokun plush, pretty underwear, and Hello Kitty MAC makeup for myself.



So I feel like I had a very romantic "quirkyalone"-style date with New York City, with all the traditional gifts that come with Valentine's Day (except for boring roses). Surely it was better than all the Valentine's Days I've ever spent with a boy! Boys were always disappointing on Valentine's Day. ...And I suppose in general. I keep hoping one will surprise me, but I guess I'll be doing okay if it never happens!

Hmm. This is going to make it harder for me to want to date again.

Labels: ,

Add this blog to My Yahoo!

Monday, February 16, 2009

To live the dream

This morning, a professor called me to ask if I'd consider a job with a nifty puzzle/game company... in D.C. (Cue sad trombone.)

I did notice this company at the New York Toy Fair. I've even enjoyed one of their popular puzzle games.

Anyway, I was going to tell my professor that if there is no job in NYC or California, I'd rather be unemployed. But I thought she might accuse me of being nutso, stupid, or a spoiled brat. Well, I think I just have my priorities.

So I just told her I'd prefer to work in NY or Cali. Or maybe Australia. (She laughed about that one.) She told me that I should keep an open mind about locations, and she still wants me to meet the company on Wednesday... but not really for an interview... just to meet them! I suppose that's harmless...

To be honest, I'd be happy if I couldn't find a job for now. I really could use a good 6 month break to enjoy New York and travel. But I guess if the right job in the right place opens up, I won't say no.

I've also realized that I'm very adaptable to new situations, and that going with the flow while gravitating toward opportunities that interest me most has worked out so far in my life. I may not be the most amazing designer, but I realize that I am valued because I can solve problems, listen to others, have a strong awareness of youth culture and media, and have strong aesthetic skills. So I think I can afford to not compromise as much anymore about what I want in my future career.

Maybe if I were in my twenties, I'd be more open-minded about the job location. But I don't want to move two more times before I get settled. I'm getting weary of always feeling like I'm in a transitional living situation. I'd like to finally be in a place I can call my own. And someday I may want kids. So if I'm going to move, I want it to be some place I'd want to stay, (ideally, some place that is mostly warm) so I can get the rest of that moving along.

I gave up a very good job in web design, to find a job that really challenges and better utilizes my specific strengths and interests, and if I can't find that, I would rather just start my own business or live the artist life and work on my other skills like animation & photography. If I'm only focused on job stability and benefits, I would have just kept my old job. Luckily, almost eight years of a stable corporate life luckily has afforded me a chance to take a career risk, at least for a little while.

Both of my parents died young. And one of my brothers survived a fatal plane crash. These are some of the worst ways to realize how short life is. On the upside, it's made me often take the time to reflect on my life and think about how I want to make a fulfilling and balanced life for myself. (For you atheist and non-religious types, take a cue from churches and reflect on your life on those Sundays.)

My parents sacrificed and delayed much of their happiness for the welfare of their kids. My mother wanted to travel the world, but only made it to a few parts of Asia and died in her 50s. My dad, who grew up in rural Taiwan, made plans to retire in rural Indiana and talked about roaming the country in a trailer. It sounded both adventurous and relaxing, but he didn't live to experience that. If they were ever in love, it was a part of their life that I never witnessed.

(If you don't want to die young like they did, don't wait to seek mental help when you need it, quit smoking as soon as possible, and don't start the habit.)

So you can imagine, that in 20 or 30 years, I don't want to learn that I'm dying and think that I didn't enjoy my life or do anything personally worthwhile. And someday if I have kids, I want to show them that it's possible for them to live a fulfilling, happy life too. There are people who are hindered by economic barriers, health problems, or familial obligations. For now, I am not one of those people, so I may as well make the most of what I am lucky enough to have.

Also, I liked working for Spin Master, so I'm hoping a position will open up in their L.A. office...

Add this blog to My Yahoo!

Monday, February 09, 2009

5 Bits of Dating Wisdom

If you are happily in a relationship, congratulations to you and your Honeybunches of Oats. Have a lovely Valentine's Day weekend. You can skip this entry.

While I have been trapped in a social cave called Toy Design school, I think I've had enough time to distance myself from my dating history to reflect with more clarity on what's happened in my life and among my friends' dating stories. So I offer you some thoughts on dating and relationships, that may or may not be helpful.

I think these principles really do apply across the board, (even if they are mostly supported by pop culture references, where I gain most of my wisdom). But if you already know all this or just don't find that it's useful, well here's a cute music video for ya that sums up my last tip:



***

Apparently Steve Harvey, the comedian, has a book about relationships that is #1 on the NY Times bestseller list.

I'm not that familiar with this Harvey, but based on this short interview, I'd say he's rather astute. I very much have come to the same conclusions as he has stated, primarily that:

1. Women have bizarrely lowered their standards with mens' behavior, allowing men to act like jackasses. (Just look at the popularity of "He's Just Not That Into You" and the growing genre of appalling dating reality shows.)

2. Men need to get their lives together and be mostly self-actualized (have a positive career path, satisfying social life, etc. contributing to generally comfortable self-image) before they are fully prepared to contribute to a real relationship. (This may be true for women as well, but for some reason this is more commonly an issue for men, maybe because women are better multi-taskers and place a higher priority on relationships in general.) As I told an ex, after our breakup, "You must love yourself before you can love others." He is now married, so I guess that worked out!

Ladies! STOP lowering your standards. If a guy doesn't have it together, he is not serious dating material. Maybe you can give him some time to work on it, but if it's not improving after a specific amount of time, you really need to move on. Do not make excuses for him, especially if you are living with him or if you have been dating him for a long time. What may be difficult in the short run (like moving out on your own instead of staying in a relationship that goes nowhere) may be much better for you in the big picture.

Men! Get it together. If you don't have it together, you are not ready to date a woman seriously. And if you are lucky enough to have a nice woman be really into you when you are not ready for it, be honest and have the decency to let her know so we don't have to make these painful movies like "He's Just Not That Into You." I know, communication is hard, especially when you make a pretty girl sad or mad. Wah, wah. Get over it.

But if you are a guy who doesn't have it together, you need to start somewhere. Make some male friends (who have gone on dates and can support you a la the movie "Swingers" or "40-Year old Virgin," not guys who are equally troubled or worse than you are in the dating department) and female friends (who can offer their own dating perspectives so you can learn from them) and talk to them. You can also start to date casually, while you work on those other aspects of your life. If it's still too difficult, get a life coach. Or a therapist! It's a positive thing to get help! You have to start somewhere!

Another tidbit of dating/relationship wisdom that I heard recently from a dying professor's last lecture (not as somber as it sounds), which I also think is true:

3. Do not listen to anything a guy says. Look at what he actually does.

A guy (aka "asshole") may have selfish, shitty intentions, and fool you with his sweet-talk when he's there with you and then forget about you the next day, maybe even next hour.

A guy (aka "nice guy") may have good intentions but not follow through with what he says, for whatever reason (he is confused, doesn't have his priorities straight, or is stupid).

So, whatever his intentions or words are, the only thing to consider is what he really does.

I appreciate that two men were willing to be frank about these bits of wisdom. Maybe this is why I foolishly manage to be optimistic that there are some good men left out there to meet, even though the men I seem to run into tend to prove me otherwise. Which brings us to meeting the right person:

4. You are not going to meet that person if all you do is sit around at home, dreaming of "the one." It also is not going to happen if all you do is hang out with the same people all the time. You need to make time to get out and see your friends' friends that may interest you. Or pursue interests and activities that allow you to make new friends! Or use a dating service: online dating, speed-dating, whatever. Don't think it's beneath you to try something like that.

My brother, the physician (who ballroom dances and cooks and lectures about ecology-while-scuba-diving-at-the-Shedd-aquarium), who was super social, well-traveled, and met all kinds of creative, interesting people at jazz clubs and rockabilly dance venues, had to go full-force into using at least three different dating services after his divorce. He finally found his lovely wife through Match.com. So if he had to put that kind of effort into it, so do you!

(Take it from someone who has lost the option to make that time to go out, for the next three months. But when graduation comes, believe me, I will be making time to go out! Call me after May, okay?)

And finally, since "4" is an unlucky number, here's a tip from that "Lollipop" song by Mika:

5. "Live your life until love is found / 'Cause love's gonna get you down"

Love involves a lot of risk and therefore a lot of disappointment (Oh yes, I know), so it's going to get you down. But you can't let that hinder you. You have to realize that you can be happy on your own as well. Whether or not this dating thing pans out, you have this one life to live, so you better make it good. And if it isn't good, you better do something about it.

If you are complaining about your life, quit it, because you are probably annoying the crap out of your friends. Do something about it. If you don't know how to do that, get a therapist or a life coach, or talk to a buddy. Get a role model. After all, you are NOT A CHILD. (Unless, of course, you are a child.)

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, everyone, single or not!

Labels:

Add this blog to My Yahoo!