Oh you silly boys.

I just read this supposed "secret" on my friend Mike's blog, that men are stupid, lazy, hungry, insecure, and horny.

Maybe this is news to women younger than 25 or so? But this is no news to many of us (grown women). I am guessing Mike is trying to cover some ass for the guys who can't get it together for a ridiculous commercial holiday such as Valentine's Day, a day that (in my opinion and experience,) generally sets many women up for disappointment.

Any woman who has had any real dating experience, has pretty much figured this (men are dumb, lazy, etc.--Mike said it first!) out by the time they get through their 20s. The real secret is what women are thinking.

When we were little girls, we began a lifelong habit of overanalyzing boys and relationships. Imagine little neurotic Carries everywhere. And as we grow up, we manage to balance our overanalyzation w/ reality, like when we realize that boys are stupid. I mean we had that instinct even when we were super little and hated boys, but some how in junior high the hormones make us think boys are cute, which temporarily blinds us to their stupidity.

I'd say for most guys, understanding women takes a lifetime of experience. :) It's rough for you boys, isn't it?

Consider it a balancing out/karmic thing, after years and years of gender inequality.

Men just need to get out there, be proactive, slowly get over their fears, become more self-aware, socialize, listen, and observe carefully. Kudos to those of you who are already doing that. I worry about those that aren't. Especially those that have so much to offer. And I'd say all my friends have lots to offer. It's like that Smiths song:

"Shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life you'd like to.
So if there's something you'd like to try
if there's something you'd to try
Ask me, I won't say no, how could I?"

And everyone needs that super social buddy (of the same gender), who is your social role model (maybe more than one) and also encourages you to get out and talk to new people. And make use of your friends of the opposite gender to ask them about stuff. If you're new to getting out there, it's always going to be awkward and difficult at first, don't worry too much about that. It's just like learning anything new.

Eventually some men get it together, despite all their shortcomings. That is what gives us ladies hope. Being well-groomed and attentive helps too. At some point women just get tired hearing about poor puppydogs who can't get it together. Wah wah wahhh. Do something about it already. As long as you keep trying, you'll start to learn, and some of us women can be forgiving.

Meanwhile, I am happily spending Valentine's Day single, w/ my single girlfriend, instead of a potentially disappointing evening with a boy who has no clue.

Good luck and Happy Valentine's Day!