How I nearly pulled a muscle posing for a photo

Hi-YAAAAA!
Originally uploaded by misocrazy.

Just another day at the office... full of distractions to keep me from getting actual work done. I shall catch up on work while I watch some late night tv.

Okay, I lied in my earlier blog entry; I did dress up this year for Halloween. To my surprise, the costume I ordered online arrived on time.

Also to my surprise, there was no costume contest this year at the office. In all my 6+ years at this company, this is the first time they eliminated the contest. Instead, they just gave free lunches to everyone who dressed up for the parade.

I suspect this is in reaction to last year's debacle of a contest in which our much more deserving emoticon costume lost to a White-Trash costume entry. Or maybe it's just that our company has gotten so large, managing an online-voted costume contest was going to be a logistical nightmare. Or maybe it was to avoid more potentially freakish, HR-violating costume photo entries like the ones from the Atlanta office last year. Or maybe it was so that everyone could go away from "Yaboo" a winner!

In any case, "Kareem" and I did get some applause for our "Game of Death" recreation, and it was cute to see all the children in their costumes. I could have done without the Halloween-themed food, though; it made it very hard for me to want my free lunch. I resorted to tofu, green beans, and curry chicken instead of the grody Halloween specials.

A lot of people kept asking me, "Oh, are you Uma??" or "Where is your sword? Don't you need a blonde wig?"

While I appreciate that people recognize that I am female, unlike Bruce Lee, ... I am not tall, white, with shoulder-length blonde hair like Uma either. Of course, I recognize that some people were either too young to remember the original Bruce Lee film, Game of Death, or not into kung fu movies.

So, kudos to those who recognized the original bearer of the yellow jumpsuit, Bruce Lee. Now I just need to get matching Asics in yellow with black stripes. (If you see them in size 6.5 women's, please buy them for me and I'll pay you back.) And maybe another year I'll reprise the suit with matching nunchucks, 70s sunglasses, and sparkly gold necklaces. (Who knew Bruce Lee would inspire the fashion of future rap stars?)

I hope someone in the Castro gets some awesome pictures and video of the people recreating Michael Jackson's Thriller! I'll post a pic of my jack-o-lantern later, but for now you can enjoy Brian's, Jimmy's, and Jaime's impressive ones.

Kung fu Hedgehog

numo102405d
Originally uploaded by Loosetooth.com.

How cute is this!? I found it on flickr. It's a real animal, unlike the kung-fu hamster that you may have gotten a couple Christmases ago.

Speaking of cute things, I am enjoying the latest "I love the 80s 3-D" series on VH1. They just showed Monchichis and Fashion Plates. Those were, like, totally RAD.

But I didn't know they made Fashion Plates with just faces and hair! And did you know there were Fashion Plates with menswear!?

Get your own charcoal relief kit on Ebay now!

Rewards of getting old

As I reached 30, I allowed myself some indulgent rewards. I bought a tiny cherry blossom Louis Vuitton bag, a convertible VW bug, and various vacations to Vegas, Europe, Asia, and Hawaii. What may be trivial dents in the purses of obscenely spoiled girls featured on Super Sweet Sixteen are plenty good fun for me. I'll probably continue travelling, collecting shoes, and upgrading purses throughout the rest of my 30s. It helps me ignore my growing wrinkles, increased aches, and increasingly hard-to-lose gut.

There are other extravagant purchases that I'm going to reserve for later. By my 40s, I imagine I'll have flown in first class and owned a house. Also I'd like to see a really fun concert in another country. I'd like to get a mint-green Vespa, a Moschino suit, a Max Mara coat, and a Noguchi coffee table (or other equally fabulous piece of furniture). And I'd like to hit England, Australia, Spain, Italy, Taiwan, Thailand, Japan (again), and Southern France --after brushing up on some language skills. I should probably fit a chunk of that travel in before I get settled down though.

By my 50s, I hope I'll have started to collect some nice art and have a little art studio of my own. And then in my 60s, well... let's see if I even make it that far, and I bet my mindset will be very different by then.

Somewhere in there I'll fit in a couple little dogs and probably a family, which I'm sure will throw everything off.

Hmm, where is that winning lottery ticket?

It's not going to happen.

2004 Smileys
Originally uploaded by misocrazy.

Sorry folks, after years of making fun costumes for Halloween, I'm not doing a costume this year. I'll let someone else have the honor of winning (or losing to a store-bought, uncreative, tacky costume) at the annual costume contest at work.

I did have a costume idea, but most likely it will not get done in time this year. So I'll save it for 2006. Until then, you may peruse my past years' costumes on flickr.

BTW, The 40-Year Old Virgin is incredibly hilarious. Non-stop laughs. My face was sore from laughing. There is a delightful cast of crazy characters spewing outrageous dialogue and wacky antics. But it's got a lot of crass, uncomfortable, un-PC jokes, very much in the vein of Harold and Kumar, Wedding Crashers, and American Pie. Crass, yet somehow somewhat heartwarming in the end. It gives hope to dorky old virgins across the country. (I also learned something from it. I need to date an Ebay seller, so he can help me make my millions off my accumulation of cute things.) As a warning to clueless men: I wouldn't recommend it as a first-date movie.

Also, I rented the original Alfie, with Michael Caine. I suppose this may have been a groundbreaking film in its era, showing a playboy being unusually frank and witty, who eventually has to come to terms with the consequences of his actions... but my God, how depressing! And what kind of moronic woman in this day would put up with a guy like that?? I wouldn't recommend it, and I don't plan to see the new one, as cute as Jude Law is. Also, I would not recommend this as any sort of date movie.

Speaking of Jude, why couldn't they have made him the new James Bond? Or even Clive Owen? 007 is suppossed to be a ladies' man, right? If you want to make that believable, that means you get an attractive man. Not Daniel Craig. I don't care how good Layer Cake was.

Yay for Target and chocolates

I'm trying to make some necessary changes with my life. However, this has been annoyingly slow-going, due to some forces beyond my control. Also my skin is not liking the colder weather.

So please excuse me if I get cranky or aloof.

To console myself, I like to resort to Target, chocolate, or both.
I used to be a milk chocolate person. Now I prefer dark chocolate, which luckily, is good for the heart! I definitely prefer European chocolates (like those Mozart balls, Belgian chocolates, or Lindt) than the commonly known American chocolates (See's, Hersheys, Nestle), but I've recently found a couple yummy American brands.

Dark chocolate bars I'd recommend:
-Newman's Own Organics: Sweet Dark Espresso
-Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Truffle

In between the dark chocolate bars, I've been munching on creamy milk chocolates that my brother sent me (along with the Swiss Army Knife that includes a 1GB flash memory) from his recent trip to Switzerland.

Did I mention that recently I got a picture with the Target bullseye dog? The dog was very cute and well-behaved (or sedated). I have no proof that it was the Target dog, but it was to celebrate Yahoo! Photos' partnership with Target. People speculated whether the dog's bullseye was tattooed or genetically enhanced. He even unabashedly licked people's faces, while obediently sitting still in front of a cute little red Target-branded doghouse.

I love Target. Target makes me happy. The notion of going to Target puts me in a good mood, because undoubtedly Target will impress me with something new that is unexpectedly useful, stylish, and affordable. If you don't like Target, I'm going to have a hard time understanding you.

It's a lot like when some people have told me they were bored by Amelie. They basically have just told me that they have no soul.

My latest Target indulgences include:
- Long wool coat with soft faux fur collar (under $50!)
- Khaki bomber jacket with faux fur hoodie trim
- Pom-pom Cookie Monster socks
- Argyle knee socks
- Aviator faux fur hat
- Super-soft houndstooth pastel scarf
- Isaac Mizrahi faux suede brown boots
- Vintage style newsboy hat

Thank goodness I can feed my consumer addiction at bargain prices!
(Thank goodness I have a job to support my addiction.)

Now I just need to get to the gym to work off the chocolate calories...

Critters!

Critters!
Originally uploaded by misocrazy.

Looking for a new pet? Check out the 2006 annual edition of Critters!

Trump wannabe!

I know everyone loves to hate Martha Stewart. But I actually thought she was pretty cool for creating a multimedia empire, being a savvy business woman, and transforming home living and homemaking into something stylish, accessible, and fun, with good design. I even thought it was great that she willingly went to jail to cover her company's ass.

But I am really annoyed with her version of The Apprentice. She basically took Trump's show and made it boring. Just look at this graphic! It looks like a parody!

The fun of watching Trump's version was to see him shove people off their high horses and put them in their places. And also to watch him in his ridiculous success despite all his tacky panache. And how can you beat Trump saying, "You're fired!"?? It's so mean and to the point. It's really the only perfect line for this kind of show. And what's with Martha's frantic letter-writing at the end?? Why doesn't she just say it all when she fires them?

To top it all off, one of her lackeys totes a fat cigar in the boardroom meetings. Even Donald Trump knows smoking is not classy. The guy isn't even SMOKING it, so why is he just holding it in a MEETING? It feels so planted, especially on tv. Maybe they're hoping to get some celebrity out of him. But this guy is no Carolyn.

If someone was toting a cigar in a meeting with me, I'd be completely put off. Unless he was some kind of brilliant mad scientist.